"Everything Twice," a profound and quiet meditation directed by photographer Cy Kuckenbaker, offers viewers an intimate look at disability and the complex ways human beings orient themselves within the physical world. For much of his life, Kuckenbaker lived with a subtle physical trait that he never fully questioned. Since his childhood, he noticed that one of his eyes had a distinct droop. For years, he casually attributed this characteristic to an old snowboarding accident from his youth, a seemingly logical explanation that went unquestioned as he moved through daily life and his professional pursuits.
However, medical professionals quickly dismissed the snowboarding theory when Kuckenbaker sought opinions later in life. What followed was a prolonged and arduous journey marked by innumerable medical tests, examinations, and years of uncertainty. Ultimately, the photographer learned a life-changing truth: he was not dealing with the lingering aftermath of an athletic injury, but rather had been born with a rare disease. This diagnosis fundamentally shifted his understanding of his body, his vision, and his relationship with the world around him, serving as a powerful catalyst for creative reflection.
Kuckenbaker chronicles this profound realization alongside a deliberate, slow, and analog artistic process that he originally began as a personal method to combat professional burnout. In an era dominated by instantaneous digital capture, algorithmic photography, and the constant pressure of digital connectivity, Kuckenbaker turned backward to find solace. Utilizing homemade cameras meticulously crafted from simple cardboard boxes and standard drugstore magnifying glasses, he set out to capture a diverse variety of landscapes, coastal vistas, and everyday sights along the picturesque West Coast of the United States.
This deliberate pairing of two distinct, labor-intensive journeys—the slow, mechanical processes of primitive analog photography and the ongoing, emotional uncovering of an unusual congenital ailment—converges to create a short film that is deeply resonant. "Everything Twice" emerges as a work that is equal parts an exploration of self-discovery and a contemplative essay on disconnection, physical limitation, and loss. Through the unique optics of his cardboard apparatuses, Kuckenbaker manages to translate his internal physical reality into a shared visual language, inviting audiences to experience a altered perspective on sight, presence, and the quiet resilience required to navigate a body that operates outside the norm.
