The controversy dates back to February 2023, when Penn Badgley made a viral appearance on his podcast, "Podcrushed." During the episode, the actor revealed that he had approached "You" showrunner Sera Gamble ahead of the production of the Netflix psychological thriller’s fourth season to inform her that he was no longer interested in performing intimate on-screen scenes.
Later that same month, the actor elaborated on his decision in an interview with Variety, explaining that maintaining physical boundaries on camera was vital to his personal life and his marriage. "It’s important to me in my real life to not have sex scenes," Badgley clarified at the time, adding simply, "My fidelity in my relationship. It’s important to me."
However, rather than focusing on the actor’s personal autonomy or his discussions regarding the culture of television production, a significant portion of social media users quickly turned their ire toward his wife. Domino Kirke-Badgley became the target of online accusations, with numerous commenters falsely claiming that she had forced her husband to stop filming intimate moments out of jealousy or strict marital rules. This narrative persisted despite the fact that Penn Badgley had previously credited his wife as the very reason he agreed to take on the lusty, complex role of serial killer Joe Goldberg in "You" in the first place, back when the series first premiered in 2018.
Taking to Instagram, Kirke-Badgley addressed the misconception head-on in a video post, expressing frustration over years of unfair online scrutiny.
"A few years ago, the internet decided I’d asked my husband to stop doing sex scenes. The truth is, my husband decided to do this for mental health reasons," Kirke-Badgley wrote in her accompanying caption.
Highlighting the unique pressures faced by those who enter the entertainment industry at a young age, she added crucial context regarding her husband’s long career in the spotlight. "After working in the industry since he was just 12 years old, believe me, it was time. In the entertainment world, they call actors ‘puppets’ behind their backs, and it’s even more disturbing when they start out as child actors… after years of trying, Penn decided to take a stand and let the world see him. And guess what, he hasn’t lost fans and he’s still getting hired!"
Reflecting on her husband’s career choices and the public’s preconceived notions about his on-screen persona, Kirke-Badgley noted how difficult it can be for actors to break free from typecasting. "The characters that my husband has played over the years, people have come to expect that he will continue to play that guy," she said in the video post. "I was super happy for him and very proud of him because I understood how major it was, and yeah… it’s just relational hygiene."
Badgley and Kirke-Badgley have been married since 2017. Despite the internet’s fixation on her supposed role in his career choices, Badgley has consistently maintained that the decision was his own, driven by a longstanding discomfort with the technical and cultural boundaries of filming intimacy in Hollywood.
"There’s almost nothing I could say with more consecration. That aspect of Hollywood has always been very disturbing to me — and that aspect of the job, that mercurial boundary — has always been something that I actually don’t want to play with at all," Badgley told Variety in 2023.
The actor explained that when he approached Sera Gamble prior to filming Season 4, she was immediately receptive to his concerns. At the same time, Badgley acknowledged the practical limitations of his request, given the inherent nature of the show that made him a global television star. "I told [Sera Gamble before Season 4] kind of my desire, and she immediately was accepting and responsive. I’m always very practical. I said I know it can’t be none, because there’s something coded into the DNA of the show, and I signed the contract, and so it is what it is, but as little as possible would be my preference."
As a direct result of Badgley voicing his boundaries, Season 4 of "You" featured noticeably fewer intimacy scenes, all of which were performed fully clothed. While the adjustments satisfied the actor’s personal and professional goals, his initial remarks triggered a polarizing reaction across the internet.
Detractors criticized the actor for seemingly equating fictional sex scenes with real infidelity, with many pointing out that the rise of intimacy coordinators in modern Hollywood has made shooting such scenes safer, more regulated, and fully consensual. In response to the backlash, Badgley later clarified in an interview with GQ magazine that his comments had been "blown out of proportion."
"What I was speaking about wasn’t actually the final product," Badgley explained to GQ. "It was sort of like the culture inherent to the production of all movies, but particularly those scenes. It’s like, look, we know that Hollywood has had a history of flagrant exploitation and abuse."
The actor also admitted that initiating the conversation with the production team was far from easy, despite the positive outcome. "I was nervous to even have that conversation with Sera," he shared, adding that while Gamble’s supportive response brought an immense sense of relief, the reality of setting such boundaries in the entertainment industry carries professional consequences. "It was not easy. It was easy because of Sera’s response, and I felt relieved. But technically speaking, if I thought I’d had the ability to set that boundary earlier, I would have. We shall see if setting that boundary, of course, has any ramifications. Just simply, it does limit the number of projects you can be a part of."
Looking ahead, Badgley continues to navigate his post-"You" career, with new projects on the horizon. The actor is set to star in the upcoming romantic comedy "You Deserve Each Other," where he will co-star alongside Meghann Fahy.
